PRESIDENT 2016
WILL DODDS
Not Will Shaking Hands
Not Will Shaking Hands
"I come from a proud family that has been involved in public service for as long as I can remember. I want to work for you. We need to create more living wage jobs, improve our schools, and make public safety, groundhogs in particular, a top priority. With two decades of life experience, I know what it takes to find solutions, navigate complicated governmental agencies, and get things done."
LIST OF ISSUES
NATIONAL DEBT
As somen whose been treasruer for three clubs, I know how money works. How money works is that when you take money out, you have to put money in or you get into trouble with the school. The USA is intrible with the world. So to fix that, I propose the creation of a 1 bajillion dollar dollar. We give it to the world, ask for the change, and then we get out of debt. It's simple math. 1 bajillion - 20 trillion = a positive amount.
INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
We live in a world where America is no longer able to have access to teh world circle. In part of us and others, we have closed and have been closed off. But we can't stay away from the circle for long. Being in the circle is teh way to prosperity and a pleasurable life. I will be the lubericant that smoothes us back into the circle. With my toungue, I will calm the world into letting us come in. When we're in the circle, we are all one and love.
TAXES
Taxes suck. The rich don;t like them, the poor don;t like them, and the middle class doesn't like them. On my first day as president, I will cut txaes for the rich, poor, and middle class. Most inportantly, I will ban sales tax. So when you see that thing you want the most proiced at $99.99, you will got to the checkout knowing that it will be $99.99. You will also thank me for being able toafford something that high.
GROUNDHOG DAY
For my entire life, I have been an advocate for groundhog rights. For too long society has consided groundhogs to be "below them" or "non-human". They have treated their meterological prdition caapbilites to be a joke. But not with me. As president, I will increase the rights of groundhogs and it will start when I make Groundhog Day a federal, no-school, no-work holiday on Day One. This is just a first step in expading the rights to the level they deserve.
Issues are important. I'm a paragraph.